Hi everybody!
I’m Robert M. Fletcher, Ch.E., Principal of Strategic Book Publishing. Welcome to my blog, and may you enjoy your visit. It is my sincere hope that good people like Ann Crispin, Victoria Strauss, and Dave Kuzminski pass information from this site on to all other writers.
As a successful businessman and entrepreneur, it is necessary to gain exposure by using the Internet, not to mention recruiting hapless marks for my various fraudulent literary agencies.
You see, I love making money, but I hate working, so I use cunning to create wealth for myself by preying on people’s dreams.
Examples of my record of wanton Internet fraud are as follows:
ByteAudio.com – a con game I created by selling unregistered securities to fools in Washington State. Whew! They almost collared my ass on that one, as I had extracted over three million dollars from my “investors” selling them pieces of worthless paper that wouldn’t even qualify for the Pink Sheets. Two other guys named Kriss and Dolney were confederates in that debacle, the judge called us the “Three Stooges”. They ordered me and my buddies to pay back fifty grand of the loot as a fine – so after buying off the judge, we split the rest of the dough three ways and I hightailed it for Boca Raton, Florida, fraud capital of the world.
Sydra-Techniques.com – this was my second con game, devoted to extracting money from hopeful authors by posing as a literary agent. I have no conscience, so taking their money for myself was easy.
Stliterary.com – a name change to the above company, as people were catching on to the fraud that was Sydra-Techniques.
Rapidpublishing.com – an accessory fraud to ST Literary.
Rapidbookseller.com – another accessory fraud to ST Literary.
Rapidresumebuilder.com – yet another fraud.
Rapidwebsitebuilder.com – yet another fraud.
New York Literary Agency or NYLA - yet another fraud.
I will do my utmost to list all of my other fraudulent activities and other pictures in later posts, as no one can do anything to me anyway – considering the fraud of AIG, my paltry 10 million dollar fortune is nothing, and there aren’t enough Federal Agents to get around to arresting me.
My wife Margaret says I am an amoral beady-eyed creep, but my friend Leslie Williams says I'm gorgeous. I can't help but agree with Leslie, as I often spend hours on end staring into a mirror, enjoying my handsome visage.
Oh yes, and if you want to send me some of your money, my address is:
Robert M. Fletcher, Ch.E
699 SW 8th Terrace, Boca Raton, Florida 33486
561-350-5060 Cellular
209-755-3861 Fax
Thank you in advance for considering me for literary agent representation, book publishing, stock fraud, septic tank cleaning, karaoke, pandering, orgies, etc.
I’m Robert M. Fletcher, Ch.E., Principal of Strategic Book Publishing. Welcome to my blog, and may you enjoy your visit. It is my sincere hope that good people like Ann Crispin, Victoria Strauss, and Dave Kuzminski pass information from this site on to all other writers.
As a successful businessman and entrepreneur, it is necessary to gain exposure by using the Internet, not to mention recruiting hapless marks for my various fraudulent literary agencies.
You see, I love making money, but I hate working, so I use cunning to create wealth for myself by preying on people’s dreams.
Examples of my record of wanton Internet fraud are as follows:
ByteAudio.com – a con game I created by selling unregistered securities to fools in Washington State. Whew! They almost collared my ass on that one, as I had extracted over three million dollars from my “investors” selling them pieces of worthless paper that wouldn’t even qualify for the Pink Sheets. Two other guys named Kriss and Dolney were confederates in that debacle, the judge called us the “Three Stooges”. They ordered me and my buddies to pay back fifty grand of the loot as a fine – so after buying off the judge, we split the rest of the dough three ways and I hightailed it for Boca Raton, Florida, fraud capital of the world.
Sydra-Techniques.com – this was my second con game, devoted to extracting money from hopeful authors by posing as a literary agent. I have no conscience, so taking their money for myself was easy.
Stliterary.com – a name change to the above company, as people were catching on to the fraud that was Sydra-Techniques.
Rapidpublishing.com – an accessory fraud to ST Literary.
Rapidbookseller.com – another accessory fraud to ST Literary.
Rapidresumebuilder.com – yet another fraud.
Rapidwebsitebuilder.com – yet another fraud.
New York Literary Agency or NYLA - yet another fraud.
I will do my utmost to list all of my other fraudulent activities and other pictures in later posts, as no one can do anything to me anyway – considering the fraud of AIG, my paltry 10 million dollar fortune is nothing, and there aren’t enough Federal Agents to get around to arresting me.
My wife Margaret says I am an amoral beady-eyed creep, but my friend Leslie Williams says I'm gorgeous. I can't help but agree with Leslie, as I often spend hours on end staring into a mirror, enjoying my handsome visage.
Oh yes, and if you want to send me some of your money, my address is:
Robert M. Fletcher, Ch.E
699 SW 8th Terrace, Boca Raton, Florida 33486
561-350-5060 Cellular
209-755-3861 Fax
Thank you in advance for considering me for literary agent representation, book publishing, stock fraud, septic tank cleaning, karaoke, pandering, orgies, etc.
12 comments:
I don't believe this guy, why isn't he in jail?
Robert--can I paste my query letter in here? Here goes.
ZOMIELAND is a really cool zombie story about zombies that bite and kill everyone. I think everyone in the world will like the story. Even if you don't like zombies there is a love story part where this guy kisses a zombie. I think we can make a million bucks with this story!
Wonky,
Sure, I can try to sell your manuscript, but you will have to pay me first.
$149.95, cash, credit card, or check will do nicely, and make a good start on making me your agent, along with submission fees of $10.00 each.
Incidentally, Leslie is asking about the guy kissing the zombie - it is a girl zombie or a guy zombie?
She thinks having a gay angle in your story would be kinda cool.
I think she's right, you know, those in the gay movement do buy books!
Bob - great idea! I'll change it to a gay zombie thriller and the MS to you asap.
Should I post my credit card # here?
Nah, just email your account number to me with your manuscript.
Better yet Wonky - mail all of your credit cards to my Boca Raton address. I give you my solemn word as a Literary Agent that I will not overcharge any of your cards, and promise to return them to you promptly, once I have finished using them.
You know, it would be nice if you send me some signed blank checks too, that way you won't have to go through the trouble of mailing them to me later.
By the way, Jill Mast, John Rain and Sherry Fine say hi to everyone over at writers.net. Jill suggests that you put some explosions in your manuscript, along with raunchy sex, gun battles and unicorns. Jill really likes unicorns; then again, so do I, along with lots of money.
Jennifer Dublino is here too, enjoying the late Florida evening with her husband Anthony. Between making Leslie, Margaret and I dry Stoly martinis, she's reading a children's manuscript entitled "Mister Turtle Gets Fucked Up The Ass".
I guarantee that one will be a New York Times bestseller!
Robert Fletcher is a cock sucking asshole and a liar. Somebody ought to kill him so he can't fuck with writers anymore. Good thing I googled that shithead before I signed the contract.
Hey robert, send me a e-mail. My address is blome@mycrotch.com!
Dear Mr. Fletcher: Despite the fact that I am slowly going blind, one of the many gifts I have been cursed with is a rather unique ability to perceive things others cannot see. I find this whole situation now, rather amusing. Please thank your lovely bride for the kind remarks she made regarding "The Orphan Creed," and Mr. Fletcher, if you would also be so kind, ask her if she would one day like to know how it all turned out for the boy? Because there is indeed a second manuscript which follows the first. I believe somewhere down our roads we might, each of us, you and I, one day meet. But if and until then. Best. Michael.
One day a boy was walking down a dirt road and came upon a snake that had been run over by an ox-cart. The snake looked up at the boy and said "Please help me. My back has been broken and I must get to the side of the road or I shall be killed by the next ox-cart that comes along." The boy thought for a moment and replied, "But you are a snake, and if I touch you, you will most certainly bite me, and I will wish to God that I hadn't, and I might die." The snake said with the greatest of guile, "No child, I swear, I want only the safety of the grass beside the road. I promise with all my heart that if you help me, I will inflict no harm upon you." The child thought for a moment and in his innocence, and in his naivete' he agreed to help the snake out of the road. As the boy slowly walked the injured snake to the side of the road and set it in the grass, the snake lunged and bit him in the face. The boy fell to the ground stunned as the snake's venom began to slowly course through his body. As the boy began to die, he turned to the snake and asked why, when the snake had promised not to bite him, the snake had done so anyway? The snake replied, "You knew what I was when you picked me up and you got what you deserved." Yeah. It's worth an $89.00 critique. Caveat emptor. Michael.
Oops. One istajke, WORHTEE $89.00?
I have never read anything so hilarious in my life... absolutely brilliant!!
I'm 6 months late with the comment, so you've probably moved on to a new con by now... I hope it's around old people. I hate the aged & see them as fair game for your sort.
Ahh, still at in 2011 aye there Mr Fletcher? Got yourself another new name & everything! Strategic Book Publishing& Rights Agency, you're a real pearl you are.
Amazing this is still here...
Post a Comment